God … forced to take drastic measures
Heaven, (HNN) – An emergency was declared in Heaven today because God has recently noticed that Heaven has begun to bulge at the seams with the souls of billions of human fertilized eggs.
Fortunately after pulling up some reputable websites, God has latched on to the cause of the problem.
As everyone knows, up until today God has been inserting a soul into every human egg at the moment of conception.
What most people don’t know is that that all these fertilized eggs float around for about 7 days before they implant into the uterine wall.
Even more incredible however, it’s estimated that anywhere from 30-40% of those fertilized eggs never even bother to attach inside of the woman and instead take the next ride out and on to heaven.
After reading this God began fuming at pro-life Christians, who should know better, for allowing all of these billions of “babies” to die without being given proper funerals and burials.
To remedy the situation God has decided, against his lawyer’s advice, to begin delaying the ensoulment until later in the pregnancy when the odds of survival are better.
Of course God’s lawyer severely objected because of the legal slippery slope this will cause.
As usual Pat Robertson has been notified by God to inform the rest of the world on his behalf.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/01/16/health/main536830.shtml
http://www.reason.com/news/show/34948.html
http://www.well.com/user/ped/clips/Infertility_Cover_9.30.91.txt
http://www.abortion.org.au/whenhuman.htm
http://www.illinoisivf.com/recurrent-pregnancy-loss/pre-implantation.html