Hey there Mr. Huckabee! Hey there Gomer!
Say Gomer… have you heard about the controversy over my Christmas Ad?
Yes Mr. Huckabee! Shame, shame, shame! I just don’t understand it! I just don’t understand it!
Mr. Huckabee, why would anybody not want to see a big ‘ol white Christian cross in your politic ad??
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…
Gomer, don’t be silly, that’s ridiculous.
There’s no Christian cross in my ad anywhere. That’s just a bookshelf whose ends just happen to look like a big ol’ bright white Christian cross that’s centered and appears to be moving against a black background in my ad.
Well, gawww-lee! Mr. Huckabee, you’re right! I’m just as sorry as I can be!
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…
And Gomer, don’t listen to the people who claim I’m lying when I say I didn’t sneak a big ol’ white cross into my ad. When I used to be a Southern Baptist preacher I always taught the Ten Commandments and one of the Ten Commandments is never tell a lie.
Shazam, Mr. Huckabee! I sure hope no one out there thinks you are a liar. Grandma Pyle used to always say to politicians: “Never tell a lie, even if it makes you go up in the polls.”
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho…
Well Gomer, I just hope that I’ve straightened this whole thing out so no one get’s the wrong idea.
Gawww-lee Mr. Huckabee! Me too! Well I think I hear Sgt. Carter calling me. Good luck Mr. Huckabee!
How would religion affect Mike Huckabee’s presidency should he get elected?
From Huckabee’s website:
“I don’t separate my faith from my personal and professional lives.”
“My faith doesn’t influence my decisions, it drives them.”
Describes himself as a “Christian Leader.”
In 1997 Huckabee refused to sign legislation to assist storm victims because the measure referred to tornadoes and floods as “acts of God.”
In 1998 Huckabee said “I hope we answer the alarm clock and take this nation back for Christ.”
In 2002 said he supports displaying the Ten Commandments in public schools.
In 2006 said the US government should fund Religious charities with tax payer money.
Huckabee on Foreign Policy:
This year (2007) on Glen Beck, Huckabee said he thought that although it was unlikely, it was possible we are in the “End Times” as interpreted from the Bible and headed toward Armageddon in the Middle East.
Huckabee on science:
In 1990, while Huckabee was addressing a Baptist convention he said: “It doesn’t embarrass me one bit to let you know that I believe Adam and Eve were real people.”
This year (2007) Huckabee restated on the Bill O’reilly show that he believes Adam and Eve really existed.
Also this year on the O’Reilly show he stated he did not believe in evolution. During a Republican debate he was one of the candidates who raised their hands when asked if they did not believe in evolution.
He was quoted in July 2004 on Arkansans Ask, his regular show on the Arkansas Educational Television Network: “I think that students also should be given exposure to the theories not only of evolution but to the basis of those who believe in creationism.”
“Oh, I believe in science. I certainly do,” …. I’ll stick with God if the two are in conflict.”
Says he opposes embrionic stem cell research.
Huckabee on Homosexuality:
During a run for the U.S. Senate in 1992, Huckabee noted in response to a questionnaire, “Homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle”
Huckabee is against gay people being allowed to marry or even have civil unions. Says he believes that if the US allows gays to marry that the US won’t survive.
In his 1998 book, “Kids Who Kill”, Huckabee appears to equate homosexuality with pedophilia and necrophilia (sex with children and sex with dead people).
Huckabee on school prayer:
Says that “ending school prayer was a step in the moral decay of America.”
Huckabee on Abortion:
Huckabee opposes women having the right to choose.
Huckabee would like to deny abortions to women under any circumstances include rape, incest, or even in cases where the mother could die while giving birth.
If fact, Huckabee is such a fanatic against abortion that when he became governor of Arkansas in 1996, he intervened to block the state from paying $419 for a mentally handicapped 15-year-old girl’s abortion, her pregnancy stemming from being raped by her stepfather on a camping trip.
