(Bible: Numbers 22:28-30) And the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and the ass said unto Balaam: “What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times?” … Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day?” …
Pardon us, but we’d like to interrupt this Bible reading to issue a correction. We are not totally convinced that this Biblical account of Balaam’s ass talking is 100% accurate. We’d like to point out that at the time and place this historical event was recorded the donkey would not have been talking to Balaam in King James English but instead would have spoken in a dialect of ancient Hebrew.
We’d also like to point out that in this picture of Mr Ed Surfing, the wording on the side of his surfboard says it is a custom Thomas Black Hawaiian Cigar board when in fact it is actually a Kahuna Hot Curl model.
Also we’d like to note that in this picture of Mr. Ed playing Chess, the cufflinks that his opponent is wearing are not official Association of Architects issue but appear to be poor imitations.
One final correction: in this picture of Mr. Ed supposedly making the first heavier than air airplane flight, the time on his ankle watch clearly indicates that this is instead a picture of one of the flights he made later that day.
Reminds me of Stardestroyer.net where they are attempting to quantify the Biblical God for versus debates. In this case, God shows once again his perchant for possession, and, by implication, his lack of voice projection. So this would mean he can only mind control one individual at a time, and only for limited times.
Currently, Professor X is looking better.
Hmm, a talking ass. Hardly unusual in the ‘Good Book’…
…talking snake
“We’d like to point out that at the time and place this historical event was recorded the donkey would not have been talking to Balaam in King James English but instead would have spoken in a dialect of ancient Hebrew.”
So, any thing we read in English attributed to, say, Confucius should be dismissed since he didn’t speak English either? That seems to be your logical conclusion.
No, you apparently have missed the point and the humor. Of course the story of Balaam’s donkey talking is beyond absurd and obviously poorly contrived by the Bible author.
The article is comparing this ridiculous story to ideas that a horse can play chess, surf, and fly an airplane as in the comedy scripts for Mr. Ed.
If you notice, there are equally irrelevant “issues” pointed out with the Mr. Ed stories rather than the obvious problems.
:) brilliant, I just stumbled upon your blog, and I love it.
It’s nice to see I’m not the only person out there who can’t help but laugh at some of the cruft passed around by various religions.
I’ve just found this site and it’s excellent! I don’t expect you’ll object to my pasting about 15 pages of your biblical quotations into Word so as to print them off and accidentally leave them behind in the homes of christian friends. NB the god-squad used this ploy first.