Today’s Bible story is from Genesis 19 (a book of the Bible, not another album by a music group of the same name).
Lot was generally a very nice gentleman that lived in a town of gentlemen known as Sodom. One day all the other gentlemen of his hometown were knocking on his door wanting to be formally introduced to some angels that were staying with him.
Lot, also being a very generous man, offered to give his two virgin daughters to these gentlemen, but curiously these men rejected Lot’s lovely daughters. They were very keen on making friends with Lot’s guests instead.
So the angels blinded the gentlemen. Then Lot, his wife, and dots high-tailed it out of town.
As they were leaving, the angels warned the Lot family that God was to bless Sodom and Gomorrah with something somewhat like a futuristic device that will someday be known as a “Hydrogen Bomb” and by the way, don’t look back what ever you do.
As mushroom clouds were blossoming in the early morning sunshine Lot’s wife suddenly remembered that she had left the well water running and as she turned to go back, she transformed into a nicely shaped deer lure.
Lot and his dots made off and went to live in a cave.
As time went on, Lot’s dots became very concerned. They apparently had the idea that they and their father were the last people on earth. So solely in the interest of ensuring that humanity didn’t die out, they were reduced to the ultimate indignity for a woman. Their eyes slowly turned to their father.
Younger dot: “Dad’s not getting any younger.”
Older dot: “Gee whiz, do you think that if we get him drunk he won’t know it’s us?”
Younger dot: “I don’t think we could pull that off and even if we could, if we do get him *that* drunk, I don’t think he’ll be able to perform.”
Older dot: “We’ve just got to try. Humanity is depending on us.”
So each dot got Lot very drunk and Lot was miraculously able to perform with both of them without recognizing who they were. Both dots miraculously became pregnant after only one session, gave birth, and their offspring became famous banjo performers.
Yeah, I guess incest is okay in the bible, as long is it’s Abraham and Sarah and the like, or to preserve the human race. Pretty gross, and uh, maybe “deviant?”
While homosexuals are still condemned to this day for not following “god’s ‘holy’ natural order.” I see.
Gross! So i’m sopoused to read these stories to my kids? Many stories of the bible are really sick. I bet they don’t teach them in Sunday morning biblical lessons.
Planet Guardian you have very good points but it would be nice if you could make them shorter and more to the point. Anyways I always read them.
I can’t remember where I read it, but supposedly, if you take the stories of the patriarchs as continuations of the origin stories, the descendants of Lot are supposed to be seen as incestuous, but still in the tribe (i.e. clan of weirdos). The Isrealites were quite fond of giving themselves noble parentages, and bastardizing their rivals / enemies. I’d have to check my sources, however.
He wouldn’t give the rapists his “guests”, but it’s alright to offer his DAUGHTERS to them, to do with the 2 girls whatever the mob pleases?
This is supposed to be just, righteous and acceptable…HOW!?